Comment from Foreign Horse Investor Corporations (Via Citizens In Favor Of Corporate Bailouts)

The comment is from: CITIZENS IN FAVOR OF CORPORATE BAILOUTS Well that previous org totally swindled us. We are fucking tired of being stood up. We found on 4chan this wonderful foreign investment form that suggested “equine protein” as a good investment. We have placed an unspecified amount of this. We are no longer dumbasses who watch Beavis and Butthead or COPS, we are investors…who of course still watch those very shows. And we still fucking hate the equinetarian. We attach the following document as our legacy seal. The new corporation has handed us an intelligent script that we are to use or something: “It is imperative for the Treasury to recognize the benefits that the horse industry could bring to the country. The US is flat broke only because they didn’t put enough emphasis on diverse animal sources. Now that the factory farming system is failing, they are panicking. We advise that the IRS seriously consider horse RNG as an alternative to the CAFO manure they currently have written into the rule. To fail to do this would be an admission of incompetence since horses produce less methane, healthier meat, and a multi-pronged revenue stream. Unlike cows, horse breeding serves many purposes. Horse fat is a good skincare and biofuel item. Horse meat is the primary ingredient in exotic carnivore diets and is also a lean alternative for humans, many of whom are unhealthy on the current beef and pork that the country subsidized. Horse manure is a green fertilizer, and can also be used to produce natural gas. Horses emit less enteric methane, so their populations contribute less to the earth warming crisis. Lastly, if the IRS is still not convinced, horsehide is the best quality leather. Unlike cattle hide, horsehide lasts a lifetime. To ensure this is a fail safe investment by public money, our researchers have confirmed that if the demand for horse flesh based products ever declined, pulped whole horse biomass is also an effective slow release fertilizer that effectively eliminates weeds and fertilizer needs for up to 5 years, allowing production to continue without necessitating a popularity of horse meat based food products in a country that has historically viewed the animal with suspicious and annoyance in the food system. To ignore the properties of the wondrous equine would be irresponsible of the government of the United States of America. A neutral technology must be willing to expand to survive. Horses are the perfect fuel for the next 20 years of American Greatness.”